Love It or List It?

For the past seven years in BHH, I have viewed our house through the eyes of a seller. I’ve thought about it from a seller’s perspective because I have moved so much and lived in so many houses over the years that the concept of a forever house doesn’t even exist in my brain. We bought BHH for a very low price, and my secondary goal has always been to make sure it stacks up to the same sized comparables in our neighborhood. My primary goal has been to do right by the house, of course.

Over the past three years, Andy and I circled around the conversation of selling BHH. To be brutally honest, Andy and I have rarely been on the same page about BHH. First, Andy wanted the house, and I didn’t. However, it did not take long for me to fall in love with BHH and starting in 2014, working on the house, this blog, and True Tales From Old Houses became my primary jobs.

Since Andy and I couldn’t afford to hire out a lot of work, I embraced the DIY life. Andy, not so much. A few years in, he was completely over it, and I was starting to understand the gravity of our situation. BHH is a big freaking house, and the ability to make the house our own while addressing deferred maintenance and battling mother nature was proving to be a lot. As an enthusiastic party of one, it was becoming even more overwhelming. Andy wanted quick, inexpensive fixes, but I wasn’t willing to kick our problems down the road by sacrificing quality.

Love it or List it?

If you’re not familiar with the show Love it or List it on HGTV, it centers around a realtor (David) vs. a designer + contractor (Hilary) trying to convince a family to fix their home and love it or find a new one and list it for sale. The couple on the show is at odds. Host Hilary Farr’s constant eye rolls + the contrived drama make perfect trash TV. At the end of each episode, there is a very theatrical moment where the couple has a “private” on-camera conversation to discuss their plans. Then, Hilary asks, “Are you going to love it….” and the other host, David, says, “…or list it?” #drama

Though I rarely watch the show, the concept fits Andy and me perfectly. All along, I’ve wanted to keep pouring money into BHH to bring it back, and Andy has felt like we’ve done enough, and maybe it’s time to get out.

In today’s special blog episode of Love it or List it, let’s pretend that we’re in the final moments of the show. Here is what our thought process has been over the past few years.

List it

Andy’s thoughts (written by Stacy): The housing market is hot hot hot. Let’s take the money and run. With most of our kids grown, we have some flexibility that we’ve never had before, and we should take advantage of that now.

Stacy: All I can see is the torn-up staircase, all of the partially-restored windows on my work table, and the mountain of highly specialized work I have to do before we can call a realtor. Also, my entire livelihood is wrapped up in the blog and the podcast. Even if we sold BHH, where would we go? Like many towns, houses here are snapped up within days for well over the asking price. We also still have our daughter at home for the next four years or so. I won’t uproot her entire life.

Andy: I don’t really enjoy DIY. I’d rather spend time on my hobbies.

Stacy: This past winter was a real low point for me regarding BHH. I realized that I was at a tipping point with my quality of life. Spending every waking hour of each day keeping this house afloat was starting to make me feel resentful. Living in a long-term construction zone triggered my anxiety in unhealthy ways, and the old d-word (depression) was starting to show up again too.

So, there are definitely plenty of reasons to sell BHH.

Love It

Stacy: For once, it would feel nice to fix up a house to live in it instead of selling it. Although that hasn’t been our intention, it has happened every time. We work like dogs, and someone else enjoys our work.

Andy: This house would be great if we could fix up the bathrooms and some of these other projects were finished.

Stacy: If I had some help, we could knock out a lot of the backlog and move forward with projects that we could both enjoy.

Andy & Stacy: It would be stressful, expensive, and so much work to move again, especially in this crazy housing market. There is no such thing as a contingency sale right now. We’d almost need to be in a position to buy a second house and then sell BHH.

Stacy: BHH is one-of-a-kind, a real treasure. We will never have this type of opportunity again. (This is not hyperbole. It’s the truth.)

See? There are plenty of reasons to love BHH too.

Cameras Off

At this point in the show, the cameras are off. Andy and I have had some crucial conversations over the past couple of months that have led us to a resolution. Among other things, we have discussed that:

• My mental health is important. (Also, I am fine; My mental health always comes first, and I’m on it.)
• Andy’s desire to not spend his free time consumed by DIY projects is important.
• I enjoy my work as a window restoration educator, blogger/writer, and podcast host.
• He and I both want a home that feels like a home and not a construction zone.
• We want to live somewhere that our kids want to visit and bring their friends and family to.
• Since we enjoy vacations and some splurges now and then, being house-poor isn’t appealing.
• Our method of caring for BHH is not sustainable.

So, what did we decide? Are we going to love it or list it?

We are…

going to…

love it!

We are staying put in BHH, and changes are afoot. We’re in the early stages of some big house plans. I’m talking butterflies in the stomach plans, and Andy and I are both very excited. He and I are on the same page, and we have come up with some solutions that will benefit both of us, and of course, BHH.

I look forward to telling you more soon. In the meantime, feel free to make some guesses in the comments. I always enjoy hearing your ideas. Also, what did you think we would decide?