Plot Twist: New Project – Teen Bedroom

The very day after I posted our 2020 project plans, my daughter asked me if we could redo her room. I thought, Didn’t we just do that? If you have been reading here for a long time, you may remember that we already repaired and decorated her room once. Even though it feels like yesterday, that was four years ago, and she is now thirteen. Planning a teen girl’s bedroom wasn’t even on my radar in 2016.

I could have said no. After all, wasn’t I just going on about how full my plate is right now? However, this girl asks for so little, and she is incredibly responsible on a daily basis. Our time together is limited, and she wants to spend it with me, doing stuff. So, of course, I said yes.

I thought it might be helpful for others to observe how we are making the plan as a mother/daughter team. I have specific tastes. She has specific tastes. How do we mesh the two?

My Philosophy on Kids’ Bedrooms

I believe that a child’s room is their domain, and they should be able to express themselves in that space. That’s why my boys’ rooms are Kermit the frog green and deep purple/black, and my daughter’s room currently sports orange striped walls. Would I choose any of these colors for myself? No way. Do they fit in with the entire BHH aesthetic? No, they do not.

As tweens and teens, these rooms are their refuges. I believe my job as a parent is to teach them how to respect and organize their belongings and how to clean up at regular intervals. Their room decor is not about me.

With that out of the way, I will add that I’m not above suggesting decor options, and if I am asked, I will add my preferences to the mix.

A few months ago, M. was on the phone with a friend. Her friend, J., had just picked out new bedding, and she was trying to decide what color to paint her walls. As one of six kids, J. was getting her own room for the first time. Talk about a big deal! M. said, “My mom knows about this stuff. Why don’t you ask her?” (You better believe I’ll be gnawing on that bone she threw for maybe forever.)

J. and I discussed her new bedding and artwork. We talked about pulling colors out of the decor, the different feel between lighter and darker shades, and what she liked. It’s worth noting that J. already had a pretty good idea of what she wanted. She simply needed a second opinion.

After we hung up, my daughter said to me, and I quote: “You have really good ideas.” (Another bone? Yes, please.)

Planning a Teen Girl’s Bedroom: Where to start?

M. was super interested in moving to the fun part of decorating. Aren’t we all? However, I knew we needed to do a little planning first. I asked her to sit down and decide what she wanted to keep, what she wanted to get rid of, and what she hoped to get new. Here’s what she wrote:

Keep:

• stuffed animals and shelf
• mirror (That we never put up last time!)
• baby dolls & American Girl dolls (She wants to keep them close but put in her closet.)
• desk
• bulletin board with her name on it.
• gymnastics medals and trophies

Get rid of:

• her reading chair – The cover is tearing
• bed – She has this one from IKEA. Initially, it belonged to her older brother. He passed it down to her over six years ago.
• the doll apartment* – Nooooo! (Yes)
• mini Kitchen*
• mini table and chairs

*She’s not ready to part with these items. However, she does not want them displayed in her new room.

New Items:

• a tall bookshelf
• bed
• chair or beanbag
• more storage

Tip #1: Understanding expectations can help make planning a teenage girl’s room much more straightforward. Managing those expectations is all about not making promises you cannot keep. So, be careful about saying yes immediately.

Agreeing on a Style

Since her wants were few, we skipped to the fun part of daydreaming about decor. I started by asking her what she had in mind. The only thing she could come up with was nature-themed and green. (Dorothy green! It’s creeping back in here.)

She seemed kind of vague and iffy about it all, so I suggested that she take a style quiz. She took quizzes from Havenly and Decorist. Both identified her as a fan of mid-century modern. She had no idea what that meant, and no one puts me in a box. (She’s a confident girl!) I assured her that it just meant that she was drawn to clean lines and simple spaces. I was also quick to tell her that her style might change over time, and she is allowed to change her mind and like different things.

Tip #2: Teens don’t like to feel trapped or stifled. Give them an out.

Planning a Teen Girl’s Bedroom: Next Steps

After poking around on Pinterest for a bit, M. fell in love with this room hard.

I guess she’s hooked on mountain murals after seeing the ones that I painted in her brother’s room and at my friends’ house.

After a few minutes, she decided that she also likes wallpaper. Naturally, we hopped over to Spoonflower to peek at some choices. Using “nature” and “watercolor” as search terms, she chose about twenty prints she liked and then narrowed them down to six. From that group, she settled on a birch tree print.

So far, that’s as far as we have gotten. This post is the first in a series. We created a board on Pinterest if you would like to follow there. As we settle on decor items, we will add to it. I set her up with her own account, and we share the board. She can add to it at her leisure, which makes her feel more invested in the process.

Tip #3: Teens like to feel like we value their opinions and think they are bright and capable.

Right now, we are in the decluttering phase and holy moly! That’s a job. I posted about it on Instagram, and my friend, Chad, wrote back, “I see your teenage girl cleanout and raise you a geriatric cleanout.” Apparently, he’s helping his folks downsize. Well, he’s got me beat, but nonetheless, the current situation here is pretty nightmarish.

Decluttering and storage will be the topic of the next post in this series.

Wish us luck!